雷轟き渡る中

ノンクリスチャンだった頃は、苦手な人がいたらある程度距離を置いて関係を持たないようにすることで争いを避けてた。避けられずに争う人もいたけど、それはなんでだったんだろう。気になる存在だったんだろうね。

 でも、せっかく考えてたのでこの話も。私が時々欲しくなるのは「たいとうな扱い」。対等になるためのサービスは必要としてるんだけど、そうじゃないとなんかいじけてしまう。多分・・・「私にもそれできるってば」と主張したくなることがよくあって、結果いじける・・・・。やらせてもらえないのが・・・つまり私のやれてることなんて大したことないんだと評価されてる気分になる。まあ、それ、本当なのかもしれないけどね。今も時々あるんですが、洗い物をしててすすぎきれず、食器に泡が残っちゃうことがあるんです。それを指摘されると、今はだいぶ平気になってきましたが、やっぱりダメか😵と思ってチョピっと複雑な気持ちになる。でもね、そこまでの努力？全部が全く無駄だったわけじゃない。そのチョピっとのあわになるまでのことはやれたんだけどね。もっと真っ直ぐに、目が見えるすごさを感謝したらいいんだよね・・・。そうそう。平等対等は違うんだろうな。後で辞書調べてみようかな。

 映画「パウロ」を見て、主にある兄弟姉妹はとても大切だなあとおもいました。どれだけ豊かな交わりを持っているか、すれ違いも含めて、謙遜に向き合っていくかが大切だよね、と。

雷雨の激しさを感じながら、本日はここまで。＊またあちこちに大雨の危険な警報が出ているみたいです。お祈りします。

When I was a non-Christian, I avoided conflicts by keeping some distance away from people who were not good at them. Some people couldn't avoid it, but why was that? It must have been anxious.

  Well, today's listening to the word is not good because of its poor attitude because it is not good. I want to be able to love freely, but I am sending days that I can't love because it doesn't go as expected. In other words, I always want my desire to be terrible to control my opponent. that? Actually, I thought of another thing, “I want this?”, But when I wrote it, I ended up trying to control it.

  But I was thinking so much, so this story. What I sometimes want is “handful”. I need a service to be equal, but otherwise it's a mess. Perhaps ... I often want to insist that "I can do it too", and I can play with the results ... I can't let you do that ... I feel like I'm not doing anything big. Well, that may be true. There are still occasional occasions, but I can't rinse my hair after washing, and sometimes bubbles remain in the dishes. When it was pointed out, now I have become quite comfortable, but after all I think it's no good or a habit, and I feel a little complicated. But is that an effort? Not everything was in vain. I was able to do everything until the chop was ridiculous. It would be nice if I could appreciate the greatness that I could see more straightly ... Yes Yes. Equality equality is different. I'll check the dictionary later.

  When I saw the movie “Paul”, my brothers and sisters were very important. It ’s important to know how rich you are and how to face each other, including passing each other.

 Until today, feeling the intensity of the thunderstorm. * It seems that there are dangerous warnings of heavy rain here and there. I pray.